How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
one two three fourrrrnication!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
