we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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