You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
