Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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