if you like me you must not know who I am
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
