You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
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Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
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i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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