omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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