I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
