The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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