Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
