Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
