"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
