If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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