The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woke up backwards on a recliner
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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