i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
