He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
