marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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