Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
