literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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