haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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