i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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