This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
