laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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