how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
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He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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