dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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