Got a toothbrush?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
