Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
