I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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