She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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