I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
