but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
