She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
