Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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