Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
