that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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