He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
