Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
pop tarts are not kleenex
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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