So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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