ugly people sure do ruin things
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
