He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
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I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
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You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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