She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
