I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
