apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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