and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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