just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Randomize
