I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
