My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
