fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Do vagina's smell?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
