Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
