Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize