i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
