There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
