what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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