Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
