After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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