I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
