Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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