she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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