i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
