To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
