You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
